A different past
by Narya492
Summary: What if the battle of Hogwarts had not ended as we all know? What if Harry Potter had a twin sister? What if Elizabeth Potter had followed her brother Harry even in death, but she had found herself alone in a completely different place? [timetravel]
1. Chapter 1

This story begins with my death.

Yes, you read that right: my death.

No long dark tunnel, no blinding light followed by an immense feeling of peace. Nothing, except pain for all that I had lost.

You're probably wondering who am I, what happened to me, why I start my story from what should be the end ... don't worry I will answer to all your questions.

First things first my name is Elizabeth, Elizabeth Lily Potter.

Yes, Potter as Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry is my twin brother: same green eyes, same black hair impossible to tame, same tendency to get in trouble. The only things that differentiate us are the glasses, which I do not wear, and the scar that stood out on his forehead, cause of Avada Kedavra that Voldemort, by a strange twist of fate, decided to throw him first.

Let's move on to the second question: what has happened is that we've lost and the Dark Lord was finally able to win. When I saw my brother wake up and slipping from the Hagrid' arms I had felt a new wave of hope invade my body, but it was too good to last. First our best friends Hermione and Ron, followed closely by Ginny and Professor McGonagall, fell then it was happened. There, in the middle of the Great Hall and in front of all, Harry and Tom Riddle had been challenged and, always there, my brother had lost.

I had felt so much pain in my life, but nothing would ever exceeded see a part of me fall because of a mad just when we thought it was all over, when we thought we really resent made after a whole life of suffering.

I don't remember much of what happened next, I know that I shook my wand and marched towards the murderess of my family and then I started to hurl a spell after another but could not find a weak point in its defense, then the end.

I know, I have not answered the last question yet. Why am I starting from the end?

Easy: this is not the end but only the beginning of a new life.


	2. Restart

" **Restart"**

Harry was dead.

My brother was dead, killed by the same murderess of our parents and this time would not come back.

I was alone.

With a pang in my chest I stood up and trying to ignore the dull ache that came from my left arm hanging helplessly beside me, shook my wand with all the strength in my body. With wobbly step made my way toward the center of the room where the man who had killed my family stood victorious and exploiting the pain and anger for all my losses began to hurl all attack spells of which I was aware, but nobody, not even one, seemed to score. I gritted my teeth, praying to a god that had never found to give me strength to fulfill my revenge, but I was not heard, and while an evil laugh echoed in the Great Hall, accompanied by a chorus of cheers, a beam of green light hit me and the last thing I saw was a quick red spark.

I closed my eyes flew accepting almost with relief finality of death and the possibility of being able to reconnect with my loved ones, but the feeling of peace that I was waiting for never came.

I opened my eyes after a few moments to the sound of some screams and I was amazed by what I saw. I was still in the same room, but however it was completely different. The walls were still standing, and there was no sign of the windows smashed by the giant or the presence of Voldemort. The Great Hall was as I remembered it in my happiest memories: crowded with students who feasted whose attention in this case was not directed to the food, but to me.

I made my eyes wander around the room clutching again the wand pointing it in front of me ready to face a new attack, my eyes fell on the staff table where at the head of was set an alarmed Dumbledore staring at me with his piercing blues eyes. Beside him Professor McGonagall I'd seen falling few minutes before.

I could not help but be back in awe: this was surely an illusion, what I actually believed the killing curse was a new spell created on purpose to make me mad.

"It's a joke Tom? - I shouted in a trembling voice, as the room was unexpectedly quiet - You did not bring me out enough? "

Everything was so unreal, because it still had to make fun of me? Why he didn't kill me and was over once and for all?

"Miss I do not know what you're talking about, but we can continue the conversation in my office quietly. First, however, agree that makes a visit to the infirmary. "Dumbledore said, getting up and approaching cautiously towards me, without raising his right hand from the side in which probably was his wand.

I laughed without humor, but with a mood of exasperation, still looking around scared that someone might make a false move.

"Stop Tom, you're not credible." I yelled once again facing Dumbledore, I expected that at any moment the real Tom Riddle proves to me.

"My name is Albus Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and I'm afraid but I do not know that Tom you're talking about."

I was stunned for a moment, he seemed sincere. Doubt he crept in me, and once again I turned to survey the room, but a sharp pain in the belly made me lose consciousness and suddenly everything became dark.

Open my eyes was hard, damn hard.

The first thing I felt was the pain, fortunately not as sharp as when I was still conscious, but strong enough to stop for a moment my breath. The left arm felt a familiar tingle of Skele-Gro and from my side, though still sore, I could feel that didn't went out blood: I was cured.

I looked around trying to accustom my eyes to the light glancing around the room and detaching it from the ceiling. It did not take long to recognize the place: I was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, but it wasn't run down and littered corpses of members of the Order of the Phoenix as the last time I was there. Next to me, again, there was Albus Dumbledore. I tried to get up shooting, but a stitch in my side made me groan of pain.

"Goodafternoon." The headmaster said smiling at me warmly.

I did not answer, still not convinced of his identity.

"Where's Harry?" I asked, though it was a fantasy for make me mad why he was not here?

"I'm sorry, but I don't know neither Harry nor Tom."

I started breathing heavily why Voldemort continued to mock me? Why he don't kill me at once?

"Please - begged - kill me, but first let me look for the last time the face of my brother ... please, you've already won."

Dumbledore looked at me worried and taken by force one of my hands in him without taking a moment his eyes from me. Although I was desperate and tried in vain to draw back from the grip that I could not bear, I could not did not remember the words that Hermione once told me: 'To Legilimency, eye contact is necessary'.

"I'm not lying, I'm sorry, but do not worry: now you are safe at Hogwarts."

"This is not Hogwarts." I replied.

"I can assure you that is so and I am the principal."

"No. Hogwarts was destroyed and you are dead. "I whispered.

"I'm sorry to inform you that I am here, alive and the school as well you can see it still standing." He replied.

"No, it can not, this is only an illusion. He Wants to see me mad, as if I had not already caused enough pain. "I accused, finally managing to break the hold.

"Where do you think you are?" He asked.

"I'm still in the Great Hall, Tom is in front of me, beside him the lifeless body of Harry and behind me a group of Death Eaters."

A flash of understanding through the eyes of the old headmaster, but I did not care.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Elizabeth. - I said, but I had no sign of recognition on his part - Elizabeth Potter. "

"Miss Potter, do you know what day is today?"

"May 2nd."

He remained silent for a few seconds more silent, continuing to stare at me with his piercing blue eyes.

"It seems fair to inform you that today is September 2nd, 1976." he said.

I remained silent and the heart began to beat at a rate that I did not believe he could achieve. Could it be true, that I was seriously gone back in time?

I reasoned, if it was just an illusion should have been painful beyond imagination. This, however, was simply different.

"No is 1998 ... It has to be 1998!" I stammered.

Dumbledore looked at me with a mixture of worry and pain and he take back my hand in him; this time i do not walked away, too shocked by him statement.

"Tell me what happened."

I told him.

I told him how I had not attended the last year, how we had gone on a mission in search of Horcruxes that he had entrusted to us, how we were first captured by Malfoy then escaped and run to Hogwarts. I told him to Abeforth, the passage of the resistance and of the battle; of how my brother had been defeated and how unexpectedly I found myself sitting here and thought it was all an illusion. Dumbledore listened silently the river of words that I could not stop without making a single sound and continued uninterrupted to look at me in the eye then slowly ran his hands over his face wearily, eyes shining with tears and a unexpectedly one of them fell by hiding in his long silvery beard.

"Girl, my poor girl. How much suffering you have had to try? "She whispered.

I did not answer limiting myself to look down, my eyes already full of tears because of the story.

"Although Tom Riddle is an outstanding magician can not create illusions so strong. I fear that you are the first time traveler. "Continued the old man.

"How is it possible?"

"I do not know and I do not think you'll ever go back."

I was silent for a moment trying to digest it all, then I spoke.

"It does not matter. I have nobody, I do not see why I should not even give me worth living. "

"It is always worthwhile to live." Said the man.

I did not answer back, sobbing and I tried to find the strength to stop crying, but the reality was that I had no strength at all.

"What I can do is offer you a place here, to get the clothes and everything necessary for the lessons, you'll be safe." The man asked me.

I estimated the hypothesis, I had nothing to lose and Hogwarts had always been my home so that in the meantime I decided to do with my life I could stay here, I decided it was not a bad idea.

"Ok."

Dumbledore smiled.

"Good. I'll send a uniform and necessary, I'll wait for dinner, where you will be sorted. Suggest you change your last name, perhaps in Martin, we will say that you were educated at home in recent years and you were going to take the portkey to Hogwarts when you were attacked by Death Eaters. Remember if you need anything, my door is always open. "

"Thank you sir." I whispered then I lay down in blankets slipping back into sleep.

I was awakened several hours later by a hand stroking my shoulder. I opened my eyes snapped open and I took my wand instinctively, but I didn't find myself face to face with a Death Eater as in my dream, but with a rather young Madame Pomfrey.

"Dear is almost time for dinner, will you get off?"

I nodded and slowly but pulled myself into a sitting position and I wore the uniform that had put me on the chair where he had been sitting Dumbledore. The cuts, burns and bruises were gone, but the scars were still shiny stand on my body. The woman seemed to notice my state of mind and after giving me a shy smile spoke.

"I tried to remove them, but they seem to be the work of dark magic."

"Whatever." I whispered, trying to pretend that I do nothing mattered.

Attender without any more time I finished dressing and accompanied by the nurse I went to the Great Hall. See the school completely intact and just as I remembered in my happiest memories was really strange and I was tempted several times to run away from the place that reminded me so much.

My entry into the Great Hall reminded me eerily of my first year, all were watching me while I tried to remain indifferent while I approached the stool beside the Sorting Hat. I heard Dumbledore explain that I was a new student and tell the story he conceived with me, I just sat in my ears while I felt only an indistinct murmur, but suddenly a doubt crept into me. And if I had not ended up in Gryffindor? And if I had been sorted into Slytherin? As I stood beside those people who in my future had helped to kill my family?

Professor McGonagall raised me the hat while my breathing became shaky and once laid on my head I heard him scream.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Only then I realized I was holding my breath and I released the lungs approaching the red and gold table with a shy smile on my face that I could not hold back. I saw someone shake hands towards me and I joined him sitting down beside him.

"Nice to meet you - the boy said he had waved his hands toward me - I'm James Potter."

I stared at the frightened boy.

He had short black hair, bright hazel eyes, wore glasses and had a mischievous smile on his face that made me go gasp. The similarity with me and my brother was so impressive that took my breath away.

I swallowed trying the strength to act normal, as if I can introduce to an ordinary person.

"Elizabeth."

"I am Remus." said the boy next to him.

I could not help but smile at the sight of his comforting honey-colored eyes, it was my godfather and the closest thing to a father I had, it was nice to see him again.

"It is really a pleasure." I said as he blushed.

"Peter." Interrupted the person in front of my godfather.

I turned my gaze by placing it on the one who had spoken and froze me, but I tried to maintain my composure. I knew that at the time he was innocent, but I could not bear to look at him, not after he betrayed my parents, helped the resurrection of Voldemort and held prisoners Harry, Ron and Luna.

"Pleasure." I whispered with a small smile.

"And last but not least, Sirius Black, honey."

The vision blurred to me for a while and moving his eyes on the one who was sitting in front of my father, I saw the most beautiful boy I had ever seen: he had long black hair down to his shoulders, clear complexion and gray eyes fantastic. Sirius Black was already nice when I had met him despite 12 years in Azkaban, Me and Hermione we talked about during our small meetings among girls, but to see him in his prime was something else.

"Pleasure." I said, trying not to blush.

The boy opened his mouth to speak, but I was saved for a corner by the food that appeared on the table and prevented the boys, too busy to use, to heal me.

My gaze wandered again to the Great Hall, pausing on the faces of the students who happily ate their meal unaware of what would await them once out of school. I could not help but wonder how many of them would have died because of the war.

I swallowed nervously and grabbed a chicken leg in the tray in front of me and I took a bite.

"A bit 'of potatoes?" he asked with a smile James.

"Yes, thank you." I replied shyly.

"Then - he continued - who is Tom?"

"What?" I asked in a choked voice.

"James - chided Remus - avoids, has just arrived."

"Sorry Rem, sorry Elizabeth."

"I ... no problem." I stammered.

"Tell us something about yourself." My father continued taking the floor again.

"I ... do not know ..."

"Come on honey, you definitely have many things to tell us." Sirius said winking provocatively.

I tried not to blush again, but it was really too good for that. How could it be so charming and yet so annoying?

"I studied at home throughout their lives. I'm ... I'm just Elizabeth. "

The awareness of this killed me: it was what Harry had always wanted, it was he who had to be here, not me. I swallowed and drank vacuum of pumpkin juice to escape my thoughts.

"Then 'only Elizabeth', I am convinced that here you'll have fun, just watch out for the Slytherin." He warned James.

"Why?" I lied.

"They like the dark arts."

I did not answer, I did not recognize me already saying that these prejudices against people of other houses were absurd, even the Gryffindor would have to be all brave, loyal and good-hearted, but it was not so. The boys did not ask me nothing starting to talk to each other excluding me from the conversation, I could see that the group was fairly closed and they had invited me apparently just to show that they were the first to know. On the one hand I was grateful because I did not really want to talk about, but on the other I was a bit 'hit because, although they did not know yet, were my family.

I got up to the arrival of sweet, too preoccupied with bad memories that this place I conveyed. I muttered a feeble excuse to boys and walked away as fast as I headed toward Gryffindor Tower, thanking the fact that Madam Pomfrey had told me the password before going to dinner.

Arrived in the dormitory immediately went up in children's bedrooms and thanks to a spell of appeal retrieved the Marauder's Map casting a spell to change the label of my last name, then put it back in place and after a last look at the room I left . I thank fate for having made explain Remus, years before, as they had to draw the map, and the spells were used.

I went downstairs again and then walk towards the female dormitory of the seventh year, but I did not find my name on the door, I decided to continue to climb the stairs up to take me across to the next door in which appeared just my name. I entered not without a moment's hesitation, and I found myself in front of a small room furnished with a bed with a canopy adorned with long red curtains, a bedside table, a wardrobe and a small desk placed in front of the window oriented towards the black lake. Next to it a door leading to a small bathroom.

I opened the trunk placed in front of my bed and seeing it full of everything you need for my life at school, mentally thanked Dumbledore for the huge favor he had done to me. I Do not lose any more time, and I quickly changed, put my beaded bag Hermione had entrusted to me and I had hidden until then between my clothes under the pillow and lay down immediately taking sleep.

* * *

I'm sorry for grammar errors, English isn't my native language.


	3. Alone

The next morning I woke up at dawn.

I went immediately to the shower trying to watch me as little as possible at the mirror to avoid looking at my dark circles that stood out on the waxy face because of little sleep due to my usual nightmares. I stuck my uniform and left my long flowing hair blacks. After taking the necessary for the day, and having recovered Hermione' purse, I walked in the park to enjoy the timid rays of morning sun.

I sat quiet on the grass beside the black lake finlmente I reflected on what had happened to me. Living in 1976 meant many things, including seeing die back all my family without my being able to do anything and watch my brother and all who had known growing up without interfering. I cursed my fate for throwing a stone into the water remaining enchanted by the ripples that the stone had generated.

I expected 7:40 am before returning to the castle and walk straight into the Charms classroom. When I arrived the hall was already full and the only open seat was in front of pew next to a girl with long red hair.

"I'm sorry you busy?" I asked timidly.

The girl turned around and I was enchanted: her smile was magnificent, as well as her skin, her beautiful green eyes and her bright red hair like fire.

"No, sit down as well. By the way I'm Lily, Lily Evans. "

"Elizabeth Martin." I replied, smiling shyly and taking a seat and began to rummage in the bag for the need for the lesson.

"If you need anything, even aid for lessons do not hesitate to ask me." she continued.

"Thank you." I stammered, fortunately interrupted by the arrival of the professor.

A younger version of Professor Flitwick soon began to explain the year's program underlining the importance of being consistent study in view of the NEWT. I took pen and parchment and I started writing notes, finally managing to distract myself from the absurd situation where I was, enjoying even a slight taste of normalcy.

At the sound of the bell, I quickly gathered my things by stuffing bulk purse and wide making among students, I went to the library taking place in an isolated table next to the forbidden section. Trying to attract less attention I can, I stood up looking for books that could explain what curse had been used to send me at that time and why. Immersed in the research, unfortunately unsuccessful, I forgot to have lunch and it was only by a miracle that I came to Transfiguration class on time.

McGonagall' lesson, although very difficult from the point of view of content, quickly led my mind to the past and lulled by the normality and the relaxation that the teacher voice caused me, I began to take notes with the heart a little 'more light.

At the end of the two hours Lily reached me before I could get away from it all.

"Hey! I have not seen you after the Charms lesson. "

"I was in the library to do research."

"Are you a fan of books?" She asked me with dreamy eyes.

"Sort of, let's say I like to keep myself informed." I whispered timidly, awed by her smile.

"Finally someone who thinks like me." She said.

"Want to go to Arithmancy together?" I asked, embarrassed before I could stop and think about the consequences that this would have caused.

"I wish," she said softly.

Two girls came up to us and approached my mother, introducing himself to me as Mary MacDonald and Alice Prewett. For a moment I thought about what would happen in a few years to Neville' mother and the other girl, but I tried to shake off the negative feelings.

Without waiting for additional time, we headed for the next class while the girls began to talk about this and that; I noticed soon as Lily remained always a bit 'on the sidelines taking part rarely in the conversation of the two. I never knew much about my mother, I thought she was a very sunny girl, friendly with everyone and very open, but now that I had the chance to know her, I could see that she was monstrously similar to me and I could not help but to feel happy for that.

Arrived in the classroom Arithmancy Lily sat back down next to me smiling at me while Professor Vector entered the classroom and began to speak too of the importance of the continuity of the study in view of the NEWT.

Unlike the rest of the day I was not very attentive: I was tired and sad and even though my arm was healed began to ache so, once the lesson ended, I camped a generic excuse and walked to the dormitory, but I was caught by Remus.

"Elizabeth ... Hey, wait!" He called me by the steps three at a time to get faster.

I stopped to watch him curiously in the middle of the staircase.

"Where are you going?" He asked breathlessly.

"In the dormitory, I'm so tired after today."

"Are you not coming to dinner?" He continued curious.

I jumped for a second and only then I noticed how my stomach twisting themselves from hunger.

"Come with me?" He suggested.

I pressed my lips together in doubt, but I nodded. I did not jump for joy about coming back in the Great Hall, indeed quite the opposite because every time I came in there the ghosts of the people who had lost crowded my mind, but I needed to eat. Without another word I followed in silence my godfather.

"Then how do you seemed Hogwarts?" Remus asked, sitting at the head of the long red-gold table.

"Wonderful. - I said with a tight smile shy imitating him and pouring of pumpkin juice - Where are your friends? "

"I fear they are organizing one of their little jokes." He replied sadly.

I chuckled.

"They are the best friends you could wish for, but sometimes they are a bit '... how to say ... exuberant." He admitted.

Talk to Remus was relaxing and nostalgic at the same time, my godfather had always had the gift of being able to calm me with his speeches making me forget my worries.

Once finished dinner, despite all of the students were still at the table, we got up and headed back towards the common room. After passing the portrait of the Fat Lady a strange silence greeted us and without losing a second I pulled the wand pointing it in front of me and placing myself in front of Remus. Two men appeared from the back of the room slowly approaching towards us. The first had long blond silver hair, he carried a walking stick with a silver handle in the shape of a snake's head and he had a mask on his face, while the second had his face covered with scars and looked at me grinning.

I stepped back almost involuntarily toward Remus, while my right hand began to tremble, and the scars on my resumed back to ache as if the wounds were still open.

Lucius Malfoy smiled at my weakness and pulled with making stylish wand as he pointed to an inert body in the far corner of the room visible only to me. I took my breath when I saw for the second time my brother's lifeless eyes.

I squeezed his wand up to see my knuckles become white trying to take courage and waited for the two men did the first move, but a giggle coming from the couch behind me made me distracted and there I understood. The two men in this age could not get the look they had in my and my brother's body could not be here, this was just the result of a mushy. Not without pulling a shuddering sigh of relief I screamed the Riddikulus spell to transform the demon, and then send it to shut himself inside an empty trunk that I noticed only at that time, was at the center of the room. James, Sirius and Peter suddenly appeared giggling.

"What the hell did you think you're doing ?!" I exclaimed angrily, still shaken from happening.

"It was just a harmless joke!" Sirius said, approaching with a smile on his face.

"Harmless? Harmless?! A Boggart is harmless? Someone could get hurt! And you - I said, turning to Remus - I bet you'd agree with them, that's why you walked me to dinner! "I retorted wound.

"No, I ..." my godfather began, but I did not let him finish speaking.

"You are stupid." I whispered, walking up the stairs to my room.

"Hey, Tom was one of those two?" I heard James screaming.

I ran up the stairs as the tears ran down my cheeks, my breath was getting shorter and heart pounding. I went in and slammed the door and began to pronounce all the spells that Hermione usually launched when we ran into the woods. I walked into the bathroom and threw up the whole dinner and while the tears continued to fall to no end I tossed in bed. That night I remembered Malfoy Manor.

When I woke up the sun had not risen yet, I hurried to get dressed and take a shower and I decided to occupy the time starting to do the tasks which fortunately concluded in a short time. The sun had just risen when I walked away from the Gryffindor Common room for getting around the castle, I passed into the kitchen and took the biscuits that the house elves offered me on my way then into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and putting myself first desk, right where I usually sat with Hermione. Like the day before Lily sat down next to me.

I tried to answer his greetings, but the memories of the previous night were always live in me and I failed to be convincing enough. Lily, taking my hand in his, smiled sweet to me.

The beginning of the lesson was a godsend because it finally made me distracted from my problems, half of it though, a small leaflet appeared on my desk. Trying not to be discovered by the teacher I opened it, inside a single word: 'Excuse us'.

I took the piece of parchment, I rolled up and using my wand threw it in the trash continuing unabated to follow the lesson. At the end of it, I made my way along the red in Potions class.

"What was that note that I came to class?" Lily asked in the stairs towards the dungeons.

"The apology of the Marauders." I replied, trying to close the subject.

"Did they bother? Do you want me to talk to them? "She exclaimed immediately alarmed.

"No thanks. It was just a stupid joke. "

Lily did not seem to think so and she frowned.

"Let them lose, they are so stupid!" She said again and then enters the courtroom and sit.

Follow the lesson and not be able to blow up the cauldron was very difficult because of the tickets from the boys continued uninterruptedly to send me, apologizing and making list of a thousand reasons why I should not be angry including a Sirius' note saying 'I'm too good to someone gets mad at me '. At the end of the lesson I apologize to Lily and I run out of the courtroom.

I wandered a long time for the park of the castle, enjoying the rays of the sun on my skin and even warm breeze looking to delete the stress of the last hours.

"Elizabeth!"

I closed my eyes for a moment and I turned.

"What do you need?" I asked, tired to the Marauders, I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone why they had to continue to insist?

"You have ignored our tickets. We want to apologize seriously."Sirius said.

I snorted impatiently, possible that they would have haunted me until I would not have what they wanted?

"Do you think it is normal to hide a boggart in the common room? Someone would have seriously hurt himself."

"We told you, we do not want to scare you, it was a joke for first year girls." Continued James and Peter at his side nodded energetically.

I bite my tongue not to respond and turned resuming my walk, I heard Sirius mutter to Peter that I was worse than Lily and in that moment I thanked the destiny to be like my mother, but soon this feeling was replaced by sadness and homesickness, so strong that I did not notice that I stayed.

A hand on my shoulder made me turn, Remus. Her honey-colored eyes stared at me disappointed and I had to appeal to all my strength not fly very into his arms crying.

"Actually I had nothing to do anything - he whispered - they're good guys, maybe a little 'idiots, but good. They had no intention of doing harm to anyone. "

I nodded trying to throw down the lump in my throat, but I did not hold back a sob. James and Sirius turned around immediately and make eye of my father, so damn similar to mine and Harry' ones, I burst into tears falling to the floor and hugging my shoulders.

"We did not want to make you cry." Said the four together.

"Please, I need to be alone."

The boys looked at each other for a moment and although with a little 'of hesitation they left still looking back, perhaps feeling a bit' guilty. On the one hand I was hurt that they had heard my words, Remus and Sirius that I knew would have remained there with me ignoring my words, but on the other hand, I thanked heaven that they had done so.

Once a few hours later, I had taken an acceptable demeanor, I ran to the greenhouses, coming just for a few seconds in time for the Erbology lesson. The boys looked at me with a guilty look making sure that I was well and Remus invited me to sit with him. I am taking a deep breath I did as he had asked me even though not without hesitation, starting to work with him for the lesson.

"How are you?" He asked shyly.

"Better - I lied - I did not want to involve you, sorry."

"No, you do not have to apologize, I should have stayed, I'm a fool."

"Absolutely not, we've known for so little." I assured him, I did not want them with me just out of obligation, it would have been horrible.

"I want to make up time, and be your friend, if you'll allow me."

I smiled and thanked him, unable to say a word.

"Then Elizabeth ..."

"Beth. - I interrupted him – Call me Beth. "

"Beth. - He repeated, smiling sweetly - You have no idea how to work on this thing? "He asked, still pointing to the bench.

Above it there was a bath, similar to an aquarium in size, with inside a very similar to a seaweed plant.

"It is gillyweed - I explained - I honestly do not know how to cultivate, but if you eat sprouting gills."

"Passionate about Herbology. - He said - I have to mark it in my list of what you like. "

I chuckle, earning a glare from the teacher.

"You can cross out immediately this entry. I hate Herbology. "I whispered.

Remus smiled, but he managed to hide it to the teacher.

"How did you know what it was then?" He asked curiously.

I thought about Harry, Neville and my other friends, I tried not to show my feelings, but my godfather notice.

"If you do not want to tell me it's the same." He said.

"My brother used it." I explained without going into detail and tell him why I had darkened.

"I did not know you have a brother!"

I tried to normal showing me smile, but what I came out it was only a grimace. I did not tell him that Harry was dead. For him now would be a complete stranger, but it was still Remus and tell him it would mean to disappoint since long before I had promised that I would have kept safe, what's more say it aloud would make it even more real.

Taken by my thoughts I did not notice the first year girl who entered the in the classroom and that called my name out loud and asked me to go to Professor Dumbledore, it was only thanks to Remus who patted me on the arm and whispered me what had been told that I did not make a bad impression. Silently I gathered my things and headed toward the study of the principal, who was waiting for me just across the gargoyle. He greeted me with a nod and led me up the stairs.

The study of man was just as I remembered: circular and full of strange objects and candies of all kinds, on the perch to welcome me there was Fanny who snapped his beak in greeting. Dumbledore sat down and after a sign of his head followed suit.

"How was the first day of school?" He asked me cheerful.

"Everything normal." I replied shyly.

"I did not see you much in the Great Hall."

"I ... it's hard to get into that place without re-think about what happened, it is more difficult to return to normal." I explained.

"I get it. If by chance I want to tickle the pear under the floor below the Great Hall I think you might find interesting what you'll see, "he said, winking.

I smiled realizing his suggestion to go to the kitchen if I was hungry and I thanked him.

"Sir... - I started with a trembling voice - I know that horrible things happen to those who meddles in time, but does not believe that something can be done?"

"After what you've told me, - he began with a serious look - .I think it's difficult to get the worst results of what will happen then, if you you feel, I do not see why not try."

"Thank you sir."

"Remember Miss Potter - he stopped me the man before my leave - that Hogwarts will always give help to those who deserve it."

I nodded and left the office and wandered through the castle for two hours thinking about what Dumbledore had told me before setting towards the common room. In few words he gave me its ok to proceed and to stop the war before it began.

I was afraid. Fear of failure, to make matters worse, fear of not being up. Harry was the brave and Hermione the smart one. Once again I could not help but think that my brother was the one who deserved to stay here and not me.

I did not give heed to my comrades called me and asked me to sit next to them, I just walked into my room and I laid down on the bed trying to figure out what the hell should I have done, only one thing I was certain: no one would have passed this that had happened to me.


	4. Horcrux

After meeting with Dumbledore I had spent all night to plan what to do. Horcruxes were four at the time: the cup, the diary, the ring and the tiara, but unlike the tiara they were all difficult to recover and, more importantly, some of them could not be in the same place where I, Harry, Hermione and Ron had found them.

I got out of bed and I took the beaded bag. Emptying the bag, I mentally thank my best friend when I grabbed two of basilisk fangs. I noted with regret that Gryffindor' sword and my father's cloak were gone perhaps, I thought, being magical objects they could not exist two at the same time.

Only once the sun began to dawn I decided to put everything in place with a flick of wand and go to sleep.

The next morning, as expected, I was a rag and I surprised to sleep until 10 am. After a quick cold shower, which had the effect of finally waking me up, and changed myself, I got out and headed for the fence of Thestral thanking the fate which was Saturday: I would not have resisted lesson.

I stood there for the rest of the morning until, driven by hunger, I decided to face my fears, back to the castle and go into the Great Hall. The room was full of people and as soon as I entered two people, Remus and Lily, smiled at me, raising his hand in greeting. I approached my mother, which I was surprised to find without her friends. A few moments later the four Marauders moved by sitting next to us.

"Look, look who shows up." Sirius said making provocative.

I ignored his comment and the fact that he was sitting next to me, putting an arm on my shoulders, but I could not help but move it badly: from my visit to Malfoy Manor nobody could touch me except Remus and Lily.

"Do not touch me, please." I said, tense and perhaps a little gentle way.

Sirius seemed to be upset and immediately the guilt I did this, but I tried to ignore it.

"Where were you this morning?" asked my mother.

"I was walking around the gardens to explore." I explained biting into a piece of toast.

"Honey if you want a tour of Hogwarts I can arrange it." my father's best friend proposed.

"She wants to see the castle, not all places where you've fucked, Black." Lily retorted sour triggering the giggles of Peter, who had not yet issued sound.

I looked bad guy and not just laid eyes on me I moved away, I would have to find a way to remove him out of the way before he did more damage than the ones that had already combined, but the fact that he's always the same with other Marauders made it an issue.

"Evans, as my future sister in law I feel insulted." Replied Sirius falsely angry.

"I would accompany you, but I have to go to Slughorn's party." Lily sighed pointedly ignoring the comment Sirius.

"No problem - I said, getting up before anyone could stop me - I have to do a little 'things."

I escaped by stealing a bit 'of food, before anyone could make a sound. Being with them was too difficult and painful, too many memories crowded my mind, too many worries and too many though. What if I had not managed to destroy all the Horcruxes? What if I get worse the situation by bringing them to a premature death and Voldemort to win?

I locked myself in my room undecided about what to do, wasting away again Hermione's beaded purse and checking if there was something that had escaped me, but with the exception of what I had found in the morning there was nothing.

I was surprised to find the photographs album of myself and Harry, which I had not noticed in the morning and I could not help but take it and leaf through the pages gently savoring the smiles of those whom I considered my family. I would have endured hell rather than see them suffer, they do not deserve the end they had had, the life difficult and full of concerns that me and my brother had lived and if it meant dying for them I would have done.

I remained holed up in the room to try and form a plan to late and only night at midnight I decided to get off and go to step into the kitchen to make a sandwich. My plans were ruined, however, by a person sitting on the couch who was quietly reading a book.

"Why are you still awake?" I asked, hoping I was not there any more, but it was obviously too much to ask.

Remus stood up and showed me the book that rested on the arm of the couch and walked over to me.

"Why did you escape?"

"I ... I needed to take a little 'air." I lied.

"I did not ask where you're going, but why you're running away from everyone. I told you I want to be your friend, but you do not seem the same idea. "

I was silent, not knowing what to say, I could not explain to him what ailed me, I could not let him try it again so much pain even if it means his hate for me.

Remus sighed and picked up the book heading for the stairs.

"I do not know what happened to you before you get to school, I do not know who Tom or two people in which he became the boggart are, but I know that being alone does not help, and you have friends you can count on is useful. Rather than tell you that I'm here if you want to talk I can not do, you are not alone, even Lily is concerned and in their own way also James and Sirius, do not stop to take off his eyes off you, even Peter does. You have to trust us despite that stupid joke. "He said.

Again I did not answer, too affected by his words. Remus sighed again disappointed and he began to climb the steps directed towards his dorm.

"It's hard." I whispered with a voice barely audible.

My godfather felt and turning the block back to me.

"Can I help you?" He asked me, his eyes were full of hope and a shy smile had formed on his lips.

"I fear it is impossible, but I thank you. I really appreciate what you're doing, Remus, but I think it's better to turn away from me all, I do not even know why I stay in this school. " I whispered the words pouring out my despair.

Remus went back down the stairs coming up to me.

"Give me one good reason why I should simply ignore you." He replied.

"I have lost everything Remus. - I replied harshly - I do not want it to happen again, and the only way to make that happen is to have nothing. "

"And then what sense does it live?" He asked.

"It does not have anyone. For I do not know why I'm still here. "I admitted, looking down and biting the inside of his cheek for my recklessness and stupidity, because I'd have to tell him? He was not my Remus.

I felt taken by the shoulders and shake, I got up looked up and saw the face of Remus contract by disappointment, fear and anger.

"It is always worth living for and I don't leave you alone." He said, repeating the words that Dumbledore had told me.

My young godfather hugged me and I could not help but reciprocate. I undid the hug before starting to cry, and after a slight nod I went to my room in the hope that the night did not bring as usual nightmares.

When the next morning I went down to the common room, Remus was already there waiting for me with my dad, Sirius and Peter. My godfather smiled and asked me if I was down to have breakfast with them. To my affirmative answer James and Sirius began to celebrate.

I did not speak much at breakfast, committed to fill my empty stomach from too many hours, I just listened to their talk, carefully avoiding looking at Peter. I pulled back his gaze to Dumbledore who gave me a shy smile.

"What are you going to do today?" Asked James.

I bit my lower lip, my intention was to go and retrieve the Ravenclaw' tiara, but of course I could not tell him.

"I do not know yet, maybe I'll go for a walk." I answered vaguely.

"Is it ok if I'm going with you? They have a punishment. "Remus suggested.

I nodded defeat, getting up from the table and following the boy out directed toward the black lake.

Surprisingly the morning was pleasant. We talked of this and that, and despite the discussion of the night before Remus I never forced to reveal what ailed me, something of which I was profoundly grateful. My godfather introduced me to a young version of Hagrid, the same as what I remembered, he was working for a small hippogriff.

"Do you know why I got so angry for the history of the Boggart?" I asked Remus as we were returning to the castle for lunch.

"No, why?"

"There is a war out there, Remus, and it's not like in the books, the good does not always win, there is no happily ever after and here ... this place ... it seems that nobody cares what's going on out there. Behave as almost all of the kids."

"We are kids. I do not say that you have to give a damn, but there are adults, the Aurors stop what is starting."

"What if not? What if they fail? Death Eaters will not stop just because we were kids. We must prepare while there is still time. "

"Why are you talking to me about this?"

"The situation is worst off than you think, and it is said that Hogwarts forever remain a safe place, there may be some Death Eaters inside, even among people who never believe."

Remus was silent as he walked towards the castle reflecting on my words.

We no longer touched the topic and after having lunch with others, I lied saying I was tired and I had to rest, actually headed for the Room of Requirement. On the way I cursed me several times, I had again spoken too much with Remus that morning, but I could not help it, I had to warn them somehow prepare them while there was still time, especially if I fail.

Enter the room in which the crown was hidden was strange because it was exactly like that of my era, except for a few items less. I wandered for a few minutes, picking up some object as parchments or quills that could be useful for my studies. Then I headed to search the vanishing cabinet that Malfoy had used in our sixth year to let the Death Eaters. I labored a little 'to find it, because it was covered with several layers of curtains and behind a huge stack of chairs. To the cabinet lacked doors and internal walls were not testy. It would take several months and a lot of work before it can be put back on track, but I decided to get rid of it as soon as possible to avoid disappointment. I pulled the wand from the pocket of the coat and muttered the Reducto spell; what remained were only of wood splinters scattered about the room.

I brushed my clothes, covered with a thin layer of dust mixed with sawdust and pulled from Hermione's bag extracting from it one of the basilisk fangs.

Find the bust with tiara was easy since fortunately was in the same spot where Harry had found for the first time. Before deleting the horcrux I decided to make an identical copy of the tiara and replaced it, then placing the original on a rickety table there next.

Not without hesitation I loaded my arm and stabbed the piece of Voldemort's soul.

The tiara came a gush of black substance, like blood, and suddenly sent out a great wind that pushed me away clash against making a library, and fainting.

I woke up those that I think they were several hours later with a terrible headache. Slowly and taking care not to make me even more pain I stood up and I went to the tiara. With joy I saw that was broken in half and was surrounded by the same black liquid puddle I had seen before fainting. On my lips he formed a half smile, and without waiting for additional time I picked it up and wrapped it in a rag sticking it inside the purse, about basilisk fang, however, no trace.

I walked to the Great Hall, several minutes later, with less weight on my shoulders, and though my head still ached I could not be raised. The work to be done was still a lot, but at least, I consoled myself, a part of the soul of Voldemort was dead. With these thoughts I sat smiling in the only empty seat next to Sirius and started to serve food.

"Good evening." He said.

I replied to his greeting with heart and smiling for the first time I saw him embarrassed, but I gave no importance.

"Feeling better?" James asked biting into a chicken leg.

"Yes. - I answered truthfully and shocked that what I was saying was true - I'm better. "


	5. Hogsmeade

**First of all I want to say an HUGE THANKS to ThePen'sMightierThanTheSword that is helping me to write this fanfiction, correcting my TERRIBLE mistakes. Thank you so much!**

* * *

The six weeks that followed were quiet and without big news. By day I alternated between classes, study and library, while at night I was trying to work out a plan for the recovery of the Horcruxes that were missing.

My relationship with the Marauders and Lily was made of ups and downs: I was fine with them, but the sense of peace from being able to destroy the diadem had not lasted long, and it was soon replaced by the anxiety of not being able to complete the mission that was now committed to me for over a year. It happened so, that every time I remained with them for too long I had to run away and every time I went I was followed by the disappointed look of Remus, who made me feel even worse.

With the beginning of October here, Hogsmeade trips were starting. I had been thinking for several weeks about what to do and in the end I came to the conclusion that this was my chance to get away from the castle without running too many risks.

In the morning I'd be out with my mother and her friends. I took a ride with them and then I made up an excuse to get away from them in order to go to the end of the village, in the cave where old Sirius used to hide and then I would dematerialize into the Dean forest. There I would transfigure my face to make me unrecognizable and then I would go in the old house of Gaunt. I had been really lucky: three weeks after the destruction of the tiara, I found an old article in the Daily Prophet, announcing the death of the magician in his old home in Little Hangleton.

I knew very well that all the work I was doing could be avoided by a simple conversation with Dumbledore, but I had not found a way to talk about it yet. I trusted him, his capacity and his good will, I was also deeply grateful for the opportunity and the help he had given me, but I could not forgive what he did. He had kept Harry alive only to be sacrificed at the right time and I would never be able to forgive him for that.

A soft knock on the door to my room made me jump. With a flick of my wand I shoved everything that was scattered on the bed into the beaded bag. Taking it, I opened the door. Lily was in front of me smiling, dressed in a heated canary yellow sweater and jeans. She was beautiful.

"Shall we go?" she asked, smiling.

"I'll get my jacket!" Lily stood at the door as I opened the closet, pulling out a black jacket that I had found in the Room of Requirement, then I followed the girl out the door.

"You'll see that you'll like Hogsmeade!" she exclaimed. I smiled and nodded, I never knew what to say in front of my mother. Every time I saw her I could hear her screams asking for mercy from Voldemort. She was the reason I was alive, and I was the reason she was dead. I always felt guilty about it. Lily, obviously seeing my change of mood stopped.

"Are you okay?" she asked, worried. I nodded, following her downstairs and that was when I lost a beat of my heart.

Sirius Black was good in school uniform, but it was nothing compared to how he was dressed now. He wore a vest dragon skin and simple beige trousers, but he looked like a Greek god. I blushed and looked away immediately, reproaching myself mentally.

We waited in silence for a few minutes for the other girls and then we set off, having already decided to go together, much to James' joy and Lily's horror. Fortunately I'd already turned 17, so I did not need the permission of parents or guardians to go to the small village, although I would bet anything that Dumbledore would give me his license anyway.

The journey was happy and carefree between the eight of us. After making a tour of the village and stopping at Honeydukes, we found ourselves at the Three Broomsticks with a nice steaming butterbeer in no time, countering the cold wind autumn.

Although initially hesitant of the idea of the union of the two groups, Lily had yet to fight with James, who was unexpectedly behaving more mature than usual. That was making Sirius furious, but instead had made a splash on Lily that I had discovered many times to observe sneak her future husband. Despite the presence of Peter, I was really enjoying to spend the day with them, in fact it was with great regret that I got up from the chair taking my things.

"Guys, I do not feel very well. I'm going back to the castle. "

"You don't feel well? I'll take you! "Lily said immediately.

"No, thank you. I don't need it, I don't want to ruin your day." I countered, knowing that if she accompanied me she would ruin the plan. James opened his mouth to speak and the usual worried look Remus gave me felt like a stab to the heart, but the sound of an explosion and some screams coming from outside made us jump.

The pub was suddenly silent and in no time the professors present stood up and went out to check, I did not lose time and joined them pulling my wand from the pocket and I was followed by the screams of my friends calling my name. I ignored it, and followed the professors out where chaos reigned: in front of the pub, a building was partially destroyed and in flames. In front of it, savouring the moment was a small group of masked people that I recognized immediately as Death Eaters.

"What the hell are you doing? Come back now!" James and Sirius yelled to me looking out the door of the pub and trying to drown out the screams of terrified students. I turned for a second to look at them, but their faces were superimposed with that of their dead corpses.

"Go back to the pub." I told them both harshly.

I would have stayed behind to try to cover their shoulders making sure that no one was hurt or worse, killed. I shook my wand and turned back toward the Death Eaters preparing to face them. One of them moved suddenly initiating the confrontation by throwing a stunner towards Professor Flitwick, but he easily stopped it.

It was chaos.

In a moment the small village became a real battlefield. In every part of it, I could see the colourful flashes of curses that were thrown, sometimes stifled by the smoke from the burning building. Although the Death Eaters were only a dozen, far fewer than that of teachers and villagers, the panic was palpable, particularly among students who were trying to protect themselves from the attack.

I did not lose time, I also began to hurl spells in an attempt to stop the largest amount of Death Eaters that I could. My heart was beating faster and I could feel the adrenaline in my veins, almost as though it had been months since I fought the battle, but only a few minutes.

"Beth!" I heard screaming from behind me.

I threw one stupefy and turned to a second noticing Lily and the Marauders hidden behind a dumpster a few blocks from the pub.

"What the hell are you doing? I told you to get back to the pub!" I yelled.

"Are you crazy? We're not leaving without you." Sirius replied.

"Where are Alice and Mary?" I asked, not seeing them and fearing the worst.

"They stayed at the pub." James informed me. I cursed mentally as I approached them, before reaching the trail to the castle had to cover at least half a village which at the time was a battlefield, to know they are safe I would have to accompany them.

"Alright, let's go!"

I planted myself in front of them leading the way and being careful not to be seen by no one, and decided to go through the alleys between the various houses of the village despite it being the long way. Sirius was beside me, followed by James and Lily embracing in each other and behind were Remus and Peter who's frightened squeak was making me nervous.

We were able to walk most of the way without any problems, but suddenly a man stepped in front of us. The boys jumped backwards a little bit and even though I was scared, I tried not to panic. It was impossible to go back and get away from the man we would have to give our back, but I was not willing to do. I raised my wand to make my white knuckles pointing it at the man in front of me hoping for the better.

The Death Eater smirked, approaching a few feet away from me. I threw a stunner, hoping to take him off guard, but the man easily parried the spell, responding immediately to the attack. I managed to fight the man, but I knew that we couldn't stay there for long, since other Death Eaters would soon arrive and encircle us. Fortunately I had an idea.

"Reducto!" I shouted to the wall behind the man.

The wall exploded into pieces, taking by surprise the Death Eater and covering it with debris.

"B... Beth." Stammered Lily shaky, but I did not care.

"Let's go! And pull out your wands!"

"But we..." began Peter.

"Do you want to die!?" I yelled. We resumed our journey while hesitant boys and one girl followed me. The battle was taking a different turn due to the fundamental appearance of the Aurors, including Alastor Moody, whom I noticed, all his nose and both his eyes still intact.

We arrived at the castle out of breath. I did not stop a moment to look back and see if anyone was following us, but fortunately no one was. Once we arrived in front of the main entrance of the castle I stopped and looked back one last time: a blanket of smoke rising from the village, but at least we were safe. I looked to the group for the first time and the boys were all pale and Lily had tears in her eyes and would not stop hanging on to James. I couldn't stop to think whether they were the same people that would take part in the first magical war in few months time.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Madam Pomfrey appeared at the door and directed us to the Great Hall where teachers who had not gone to Hogsmeade, and some healers, arrived to help after the news of the attack, checking that we were all right before sending us back in our dorms. Some students, such as Peter that would not stop whining for a moment, were sent to spend the remainder of the day and the night in the infirmary.

The Marauders, Lily and I climbed into the common room, and I sat down in the chair next to the fireplace with a sigh. Although I was angry about the fact that my plans were ruined, I was happy that they were all alright and alive.

While I relaxed in the chair, I saw James leave a shocked Lily with her roommates, who had joined us accompanied by the host of an Auror about half an hour after our arrival, to bring them to their room, while Sirius approached me.

"We need to talk." he stated.

I looked at him confused. What did he want?

I nodded, albeit confused, and followed him along with James and Remus to their room. I took the opportunity to look at it carefully: it was a chaos of uniforms, Zonko jokes, books and notebooks. The only part that was in order, of course, was that of Remus.

James slammed the bedroom door launched a Muffliato. A spell to ensure no one outside heard our conversation. He looked furious.

"What the hell were you going to do?! If we had not called you would have remained to fight. You could die!"

"James is right Beth, it was a madness." Remus added.

"You were stupid." concluded Sirius, also wearing a hard look. I had given up everything to try to keep them safe and they insult me!

"How?" I asked in amazement.

"You almost died! If we had stayed in the pub we would've been safe and we would all be back together with the Aurors, Alice and Mary! You put yourself and us in danger, and more than that you killed a man today, do you realize that? You'll be lucky if you don't end up in Azkaban and you stand there like it was nothing!"James ranted, as I felt my heart crack from the pain they were causing me.

"I didn't kill the Death Eater. He used a shield spell before the wall fell on him, so he's alive." I explained

"You could have killed him!" my father continued.

"Yes." I said, silencing all three of them. "And I would not have regretted it if it meant saving your lives."

"You have no idea what you're saying. Although they're fools they are still human beings!" Remus said.

"They are not human beings!" I yelled making them fall silent for the second time "They are monsters, soulless beings, enjoying bringing pain to people and we were lucky that they didn't kill anyone today! Can you understand!?"

Silence filled the room and seeing no reaction from the boys I decided to keep talking, this time more calmly.

"No, I can't expect you to understand, you have not seen what I have." I whispered, more to myself than to them. "Do you think I had fun? Do you think that I wanted to participate in the battle for the glory? No... that's not why I did it. "

"Why did you do it?" James asked.

I thought for a second... why was I doing it? What could I tell them while not revealing my true story?

"I did it... to protect you, to ensure that no one died today. I did it for the greater good." I answered, but it was only a half truth. I go to the battlefield to take revenge, longing duel against one of them, they had to pay for what they'd done to me and my family, or what it was they will do.

"You can't really believe that your participation will turn the tide of the war, you were well good, but hell, compared to Dumbledore or You-Know-Who, you're nobody." Sirius teased.

"You're right, I do not have an ounce of their experience or of their magic, but I'll do my part in this war. Just hope that you'll not be forced to." I responded, putting a hand on the door handle to get out. I started to push the door, but I stopped at the words of Sirius.

"You talk as if you've already been at war."

The memories of the clappers Hogwarts engulfed me like a tsunami. The darkness, the fear, the smell of smoke and blood that filled my nostrils making me almost dizzy.

"Beth?" Remus called me from my thoughts.

I wiped the rush of unexpected tears that had fallen from my eyes with the sleeves of my sweater. I cleared my throat and turned to the boys who were waiting for my response. I opened my mouth but did not know what to say.

"Beth" Remus asked hesitantly. "Where is your brother?"

I sheided my eyes, that among all the possible questions he could've asked me, couldn't he understand why I didn't speak during Herbology? The reason that I hated so many of the Death Eaters? Or maybe he still remembered the speech that I had done that night in the common room when I told him that I had lost everything. I marvelled at his insight, but to hear him talk about my brother soon took me into the darkest part of my mind.

"I didn't know you had a brother." James added.

"Me neither!" Sirius said.

Their words became more and more distant as the image of the lifeless body of Harry was shown in front of me.

"Beth?" Remus called once again.

"He killed him." I muttered. The lifeless body of Harry, his lifeless eyes, his hand falling to the ground without strength and let go of the wand.

He had killed him. It had been months, but saying it out loud in front of the person who loved him was different. It was wrong.

My brother was not with me, this was not a dream or a strange fantasy. Harry was dead and he wasn't coming back, even if I had gone the way and although I knew as much, it is as if the only understand at that time was him.

"Who? Who killed him?" asked James shocked.

I looked at his face, that face so much like Harry that made me lose my breath for a moment.

"He killed him..." I whispered between sobs slowly falling to the ground.

I crouched on the floor hugging myself strongly at the shoulders in a weak attempt to give myself a little comfort, but the pain was too much and I didn't know how, nor because everything suddenly went black.

I was in the Great Hall, Harry had just jumped from the arms of Hagrid and was fighting fiercely against Tom Riddle. The adrenaline was flowing free in my veins as I watched the scene trusting that my brother was going to win, after all he had managed to survive, although I didn't know how! Suddenly something changed, the atmosphere became more cold and dark and the avada kedavra hit my brother in the chest. The scene took place like it was in slow motion, I saw Harry fall backwards and I saw his green eyes like mine and those of our mother, who looked at me one last time before losing their spark and suddenly everything was red. I screamed his name, and behind me I heard someone scream mine.

Suddenly I opened my eyes, realizing that it was just a dream, or rather a thing and I did not want to relive again all over again. I realized after a few seconds I must not be in my room, but to find myself in the room of the boys who were watching me with worried expressions.

"What happened?" I asked confused, getting up.

The three boys looked at me in doubt whether to speak or not, but my gaze made them decide to do so.

"Yesterday you fell asleep" began Remus "We put you on Peter's bed to let you rest, but about an hour ago, you started to squirm and scream. We had to soundproof the room because we couldn't wake you up. "

"What was I saying?" I asked, alarmed that he had unconsciously said something that might have revealed something about my past, or rather, the future.

"Screamed a name." said James "Harry." he specified.

My eyes darkened and I could not try a minimum of relief. I did force.

"I had a nightmare." I muttered.

"Tell us about it." Sirius said.

I denied with a shake of my head. I didn't need to relive it even once again.

"I also had a lot of nightmares and the only thing I have passed them was talking to the two present here." Sirius pressed gently.

I took a sigh, perhaps Sirius was right, what I needed was to take off some weight off my shoulders, and by changing some details, I would not do any harm to anyone and would not reveal anything.

"All right. I... I relived the memories of the time before arriving at the Great Hall." I hesitated, but the guys with their eyes urged me to go ahead and James took my hand in his gently squeezing it, but I quickly snatched it away, placing it by my side.

"Harry was my twin brother, he was born a few minutes before I was... and he was my exact copy, but male. We've always been me and him, since childhood, he was my brother and my best friend. Before I coming here we were attacked by Death Eaters, we fought with all our might, but he was hit by a hex before I could do anything, not long after I arrived here at Hogwarts. "I said flatly, as if I was speaking as another person. Sirius was right, although it was painful beyond imagination, our talk had literally taken a weight off my shoulders, and although the pain of the loss was unchanged, having told them it made me feel better for the most part.

"Is it Tom? The one who killed your brother." Remus asked.

I nodded.

"I know all the pureblood wizards, most of those attracted to the dark arts, but there is no one who goes by that name." Sirius mused.

I bit my lip undecided about what to do, but I knew that as long as they would not know who he would not leave me in peace. More I had the hope that maybe he would tell her made them feel more at attention on what was happening outside the school boundaries.

"This is because you know him by another name. The murderer of my brother and my parents named Tom Marvolo Riddle, known to all as Voldemort." The boys turned pale as sheets, I never thought, having known adults, they too were afraid of that name.

"Come on" I said with a tone that reminded me a lot of Hermione "It's just a name!"

"You're not afraid?" asked Remus.

"Once my best friend said that the fear of the name does nothing but increase the fear of the thing itself, and I have always found that she was right. Tom Riddle, Voldemort, or whatever you want to call him is just a man." And though he had killed all my hopes, I knew his weak point.

The boys looked at each other but said nothing, the little colour they'd lost had returned. I watched them for a moment, before deciding to get up and walk towards the door.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, but now I need to go to my room, I need to be alone." I whispered.

I left the room and went down the stairs before they could try and stop me, but james caught up with me before I could start to climb the stairs to the female dorm.

"If you need anything," he started "I'm here."

"Thanks." I whispered gratefully. James smiled softly, heading back to his room and I made my way towards mine.

My father wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
